the Holiday of the Daughters – the Holiday of Sisterhood and the Power of Women
On Rosh Hodesh Tevet, the new moon of the month of Tevet, to the light of the seventh candle of Hanukah, there is a charming tradition called ‘Id al banat – the holiday of the daughters. On this day, many North African and Sephardic communities celebrate women. This is celebrated by the descendants of Jewish communities from Tunisia, Libya, Algeria, Morocco, Turkey, and Saloniki, among others. Women of all ages, young and old alike, gather to celebrate by studying, dancing, singing, and covering the table with gifts for each other. There are those who would ask forgiveness from one another, like before Yom Kippur, there are customs of celebrating all the girls who have reached the age of bat mitzvah.
“The holiday celebrates the power of women: the heroism, the wisdom, the solidarity of sisterhood throughout the generations. The source of this holiday is in the Book of Ezra (10:16), as the day when the returning Israelites committed to marry only daughters of Israel, and in the Book of Esther (2:16) as the day that Esther was brought before King Ahashverosh and crowned in place of Vashti. On this day we acknowledge the heroism and wisdom of two additional heroines: (link) Yehudit, who used her beauty (end link) to conquer the Greek general Holofernes, beheaded him and thus saved the people of Judea, and (link) Hannah daughter of Mattathias (end link) who awakened her brothers the Hashmonaim to begin their rebellion against the Greeks.” (Cheli Tabib Bareket, from the Jewish Calendar Website)
Why davka Rosh Hodesh? All Jewish traditions recognize Rosh Hodesh as a time for women’s gatherings. The moon and it’s cycles have always been connected with women, and especially Rosh Hodesh Tevet. Throughout the generations, there has been a lack of space for women in the Jewish tradition. While men have enjoyed leadership in ritual, prayer, and study, women were always pushed to the back. So on this day at least, they take center stage and could even approach the Sefer Torah.
“It seems to me that Id al Banat could be a space in which we can find strength in each other, all women, without any specific connection to the men in our lives or to our children that we have brought into the world. Id al Banat is the holiday of women who remember Yehudit, Esther, and Hannah, who owe them a debt of gratitude, and feel their pain, but who refuse to see in them a model for imitation. Rather, we are asking to change and repair the world, we are demanding to be a very different sort of woman, as we have been born into a generation of salvation – not only of the Jewish people to our own land, but for women in the world. This celebration is the first step in a new definition of women’s heroism.” (Dr. Hannah Pinchasi, from Makor Rishon)
Today the holiday of the daughters has been revived in all Jewish communities including Reform Judaism. Here, Rabbi Dalia Shacham relates the practice in Congregation Or Hadash in Haifa:
“We celebrate this holiday for the same reason we celebrate almost every one of the holidays of the Jewish year: in order to preserve the flame, to bring life into ancient traditions and to renew them in order that they serve the spiritual needs of today’s community. This is the task of Reform Judaism in Israel and around the world. It’s the right thing to do, especially for women’s traditions. For myriad social and historical reasons – these are traditions whose power has been weakened over the generations. They were passed down orally from mother to daughter, and were never canonized in the written literature – the men’s canon. On the other hand, for myriad social and historical reasons, today we are witnessing a massive awakening of women’s power, in all the different streams of Jewish and Israeli society as well as other traditions and communities around the world. I call this awakening “Feminist Spirituality” – this is a conscious movement that is reviving women’s spiritual leadership, empowering women to be who they really are and to connect to their deepest spiritual roots, from which we can grow and bring a message of renewal and peace between the sexes.”